intimacy; not what you think

In the book, Hanging out, playing around and geeking out; the question of intimacy and social media is a main chapter. When i think of intimacy i think of bed bath and beyond. However for this books purpose intimacy is used as a reference point to the level of cordiality between those involved in the activity of social media. As much as i was waiting for the section on sexting the book never got there. The reasons were that most kids “don’t feel comfortable talking about this during the first interview.” The authors focus on the relationship of a teenage boy and girl who wake in the morning and text, then get on facebook and im and usually fall asleep talking on the phone. What makes this different than any other relationship is that the kids parents don’t know about their relationship. So the question that comes to my mind is how intense can the level of intimacy be if they can’t be seen as a couple amongst family. I think this lack of intimacy is congruant with the lack of intimacy of an online social relationship. They can’t share the feeling of joy they have with their family and my mind thinks how authentic can this “online” relationship truly be. Sure they can hold hands at school and sneak a kiss on  the way to class but sharing their true feelings with their families could only intensify or authenticate the intimacy. I could offer more examples of the author’s interviews with other kids, but the over all feeling i came away with was social media and intimacy is like a teenager drinking non alcoholic beer and not knowing it. As much as social media plays a part in forming relationships the more “friending” doesnt mean you have more friends.  I  get this idea that the true self of people is hidden in cyberspace and any social interaction outside of social media would only immediate intimacy and create a more intense relationship which we all know we can’t have. So in  a few words. social media is a veil that covers the true faces of people. Why create a friendship the old fashion way, where one might blush when asking a girl to the dance when they can text and be denied without the face to face interaction

 

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